"Assume the Worst"

Today's thought/epiphany ~ that saying, "hope for the best, assume the worst" triggered a realization about myself of a thought pattern in which I've been entrenched for the last fifteen years ~ assuming the worst of a person's, people's, government's, corporation's, elite's interests when what really is their core motivation may be something rather relatively innocuous and even good-intentioned.
I guess it all started with the betrayal of trust with my professor who infected me with HIV and didn't tell me he was positive.  That completely shattered my world, my trust in authority and in those who said they loved me.  I became paranoid by the slightest indiscrepancy in a person's narrative, medical establishment's dogmas, political rhetoric, 'the corporate line' and news stories.  This fearfulness has not done any outright damage to me or others in regards to the 'bigger picture', ie. 'conspiracy theories', which I think is a benign fascination as long as I were to not act out in any violent fashion as in the movie 'Fight Club'.  My health was compromised because I was so anti-authority and suspicious of the medical establishment.  But it has hurt me and those I have loved most horribly and has destroyed what could have been beautiful, many times.

Ok.  I'm not saying that one should not engage in critical thinking, nor have in the realm of possibility thoughts of what might possibly, in the worst-case scenario, be a person's or organization's insidious intention.  One should be open to all realms of possibilities.  What I am saying is one shouldn't be stuck, fearing everyone, especially someone who says they love you, and think they are only out to use and abuse you.  This is not healthy and gets you nowhere in life, or love.

Speaking Truth in Love

Those of us who have the power of speaking truth to power need to speak it in equal amounts of love all the time.  Unless we do, it can have distrastrous, unintended consequences for those listening to us. We have been given a gift, we must use it lovingly.

Truth

Had an epiphany this morning.  This one's been a long time coming.  It's about lies and its opposite, truth.  I've told many lies in my past and have been told lies to by many people.  What is the nature of a lie?  What is the nature of truth?  These are questions I've been seriously pondering since I was a teen.  Now I think I've finally started to find some clarity with this issue.  I think it is to do with the human condition.  We all tell lies and we all are truthful to one degree or another.  This is where the definition of a lie and of (a) truth really begs the question.  For example, not being open about a subject in your life is a way of concealing the truth, a form of dishonesty, no?  Believing in superstition and fantasy is a way of deceiving yourself and acting on it can hurt yourself and others.  Why do humans need to be dishonest?  I think it is because of the human condition ~ we are here, we are aware and none of us know for certain wtf is going on.  We're all relatively insane.  We tell lies as form of coping with this conundrum.  One thing I do know for sure though.  Truth does set one free, and one can never grasp the whole truth.  One must seek it from a humble perspective, hearing all sides of the stories to even get a foothold in the door of truth, and freedom.

What a good friend wrote to me today

Nothing is ever perfect, and that goes for people too. We learn when we open ourselves to other people's idiosyncracies, if we are healthy in ourselves to approach them with that measure of openness. When you open your door to others, you are engaging them and yourself in a learning experience. I know this is what you truly want in your life, so have courage. Don't spread yourself thin. Know your boundaries. Be professional AND personable (not the same as personal). And definitely, definitely always be true to yourself!

Welcome to my blog!!!!

Our world is in a time of transformation, one where we can choose 'to keep doing things as they've always been done', or to do things differently.  Our destruction might come despite, but if we choose to make serious analysis and attempts at amending our behaviours that have led us to this precarious situation(s) we now find ourselves in, we might not only prevent destroying ourselves, but may make this world a better place to be.  Humanity has been overrun by head/ego-centeredness for the last 500+ years.  If we are to survive, we must remember and connect to what made us human in the first place ~ heart.