Sunday, 18 September 2011
Why Do Victims Become Victimizers?
Another topic that's been on my mind for many years. Quite often people who have been abused in some form or another end up abusing others in a somewhat similar and/or dissimilar way. Why is this? As in all things, abuse is relative and viewed and felt from one's personal perspective. I think the abused may go down this path to one degree or another in order to understand what the thinking behind their perceived abuser's intentions and motivations, heart and mind were. Because we are one, we are at a loss when someone or something takes actions towards us, that we perceive as abusive, would ever do such a thing. Even if we might do or have done something similar or just as 'bad' to another, if done in a different context, style or degree, is perhaps where the real confusion lies? As it is said, "people often hate in others what they hate in themselves". And being taken out of one's comfort zone may be in some cases what really frightens. I am sure there are many reasons why victims become victimizers, the possibilities of choices one can take is endless. And, unfortunately, it is so easy to become jaded. You would hope after being abused one would never want to abuse another, but sadly, that is somewhat wishful thinking. People are complex. Everyone has demons to exorcise and will abuse another indirectly or directly, subconsiously or consciously, intentionally or unintentionally to one degree or another. What is common sense to me though, is that both victims and victimizers should be shown the utmost and utter compassion.